Trust Yourself

Over the past few weeks something really exciting has started working its way into my life, but with all great things comes doubts and nerves.

I’ve been pulled in a million different directions being told what I should and shouldn’t be feeling, and what I should and shouldn’t be believing. The opinions that seem the strongest and scariest are the ones that my heart doesn’t believe. I don’t know whether it doesn’t want to believe them or whether it actually doesn’t, but regardless, I’ve decided to listen to my heart.

I’ve spent my entire life caring more about what everyone else says than what I feel is right and its never worked out very well for me. This time is different, this time I’m taking control and everyone else can take their opinions elsewhere. I feel like this is the start of something great and I won’t let anyone push me around anymore.

Your own instincts should be the ones you trust and don’t let people run your emotions, sometimes you’ve got to stop trying to please everyone and actually think of yourself for once.

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Moving House!

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This is a complicated story…

For the past 5 years we’ve been renting, so I’ve lived in my childhood house which we owned, then we moved to a rented house for about 18months, and then to another rented house for 3 years and now we’ve moved into another rented house for about 5 months…

5 months? What’s the point? I know!

Basically, we decided a few months back that we wanted to finally own a house again and we found some houses that are currently being built and bought one (in the simplest way of putting it). The houses won’t be finished being built until February. Then, without even knowing anything about us moving, the landlords of our current home at the time, announced that they wanted to sell the house and they wanted us out in 2 months. Oh gosh.

So we have a temporary 6 month rent in this little house until February. However, we are basically living out of boxes because there’s not much point unpacking much, so yeah, there’s boxes everywhere! It’s crazy!

Everything has been so manic recently with starting college, the move, and I got a job at Primark! I started today, so that’s also been stressful to sort out

Crazy, crazy times! I hope you’re all doing well 😀

College?

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The Monday that has just gone marked my first day of college! It’s all very exciting and overwhelming with all the brand new experiences, people, opportunities, it’s crazy.

My first lesson was Computer Science, and it was weird enough that I didn’t have first period and so I didn’t have to be in college until 10am, but then walking in and having the teacher introduce themselves by their first name was even more weird.

As it’s Computer Science, you may have guessed that I’m the only girl in the class. This doesn’t bother me in the slightest. Majority of my classes are male dominated, as would be expected in Computer Science, Maths and Physics, Latin is the only one that isn’t!

I’ve found that even after two days, I feel like I’ve been sucked into a whole new universe. All the new people around and the fact that we all wear our own clothes, it’s weird not having everyone looking the same. So when you’re walking through the corridor you can judge exactly what people’s personalities are like and what subjects they’re taking from their clothes. The art students all wear really quirky clothes and you can almost instinctively get to know a person from their appearance. This does make me worry what people think of me but then again, I don’t really care.

If anyone is starting college soon, or has just started, or is starting next year, or whatever, and you’re worried about anything or want to find out some stuff then I’m always here to answer any of your questions (if I know the answer XD)!

NCS – Week 2

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I got back from week 2 of NCS yesterday and I can’t believe how amazing it was!

I overcame so many fears this week and really challenged myself to move out of my comfort zone! I don’t like talking in front of people or performing etc. But this week I did a solo lip sync, with back up dancers, dressed as Elsa, to Frozen – Let it Go, in front of 30 people! It was so amazing to get up there and face the fear and get over it! Then, the next day I stood up in front of a whole auditorium of people and presented a mock-game-show! I can’t believe I’ve done this!!

We have also been working with a care home and we’re fundraising for them next week! They were all so lovely! 100 year old Barbara was amazing!

I’ve got to know my team so much better and we’re going out for a cheeky nandos tonight! They’re like my family!

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NCS – Week One!

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As some of you will know from my previous posts, I’m currently doing NCS! I got back from week one yesterday and I can’t even explain how amazing it was!!!

I wish I had more pictures to show you but I honestly didn’t get the chance to take many. The amount of stuff we did was insane! We did absailing, rock climbing, team problem solving, archery, a big hike, meteor shower spotting, camping, canoeing and team challenges! That was all in the space of 5 days!!

Also, the fact that you don’t know anyone in your team when you get there makes the first day pretty awkward but by the end of the second day, you’ll feel like a family!

I hate talking in front of people, I get so nervous and I usually just can’t do it. But by the second evening, I was stood in front of my team, who I’d known for under 48 hours, in my pyjamas, and spoke about being accident prone. It was the best feeling ever!!

My high point of the week was when we all met up here on the camping night:

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And when it got completely pitch black there was a meteor shower! The sky was so clear and we all layed down and watch it together and it was just amazing!!

I can’t get over how awesome the past week has been! I love my team so much, the banter is so real and they’re all just lovely people!

I can’t wait for the next two weeks 😀

NCS is tomorrow!

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I applied for NCS in March and the 10th August felt like an age away. At that point I still had mock exams, final exams, prom and Tenerife before the 10th August! Now it’s tomorrow?

If you’re unsure what NCS is then you can read my previous post about it here!
Or desire4beauty is currently doing it and she’s made some posts about her experience!

I’m so excited but also so nervous! I get so awkward with new people and I just hope I can make a good first impression. As long as I get through the first day okay it should be all good from there. The amount of youtube videos I’ve watched, of people filming their own NCS experience to get a feel of what I’ll be up to, is insane!!

I’m sure everyone will be lovely and I’ll make some brilliant new friends! Plus I already know someone who’s going at the same time as me so that’s comforting 😀

Wish me luck! I’ll let you all know how week one goes at the weekend!

Waiting for Exam Results

Okay, so it’s 2:30am and I’m lying here, awake. Why? Because I keep playing over possible situations that could happen when I open my exam results in 15 days.

This isn’t the first time either. I’ve been having anxiety dreams of failing all of them and I’ve had sleepless nights. This summer is meant to be the best summer ever because I have so much time off, but all I’ve done is worry.

The worst part is that I’ve surpressed the thought of those exams and pushed them down so far that I can’t really remember them. I don’t know if I put enough work into them because I can’t remember. That just makes me doubt myself more and more!

This wait is slowly mushing my brain and it’s driving me insane! I feel like I never want to know those results, they can stay in that envelope!

If I don’t get the grades that I expect of myself it’s going to be the most heart breaking experience.

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